u/Bitter_Yogurt8172

I have a close friend of 2 years who I now suspect has feelings for me. When I met my situationship, my friend was there and watched her spend the entire night exclusively with me. After that night everything changed. She started going through my phone while I slept to text my situationship pretending to be me, told everyone including my situationship’s friends my personal romantic story, put a romantic pun referencing my situationship on her instagram story, and constantly pushed me to “fight for it” even after my situationship told me she couldn’t be in a relationship. I now realize she was keeping me stuck in that situation on purpose because a version of me that had moved on would no longer need her.
The behavior goes further than that though. She tells people she’s seen me naked, tracks what I do in her sleep and reports it back to me, asked me specific sexual questions about myself like whether I shave and how I perform oral sex, told me her dream is us smoking weed together in my bed — specifically mentioning the same weed from a night she told me she felt horny. She calls me her platonic girlfriend and says we’ll grow old together. When I hook up with guys she punishes me with a week of silence, slut shames me, and once called my entire friend group to say I was losing myself and ruining my life over a completely normal consensual hookup. She’s never dated anyone in the two years I’ve known her. Before she met my situationship she was insecure about looking gay and had long feminine hair — now she wants to cut it short, dress masc and get tattoos, which is exactly my type
Am i reaching or is this weird??

I met her in June while travelling trough friends . Back then I had just come out of a toxic relationship, my first experience with a woman who cheated on you, and i had recently been discharged from a psychiatric hospital. We spent two days together and I confessed my feelings after two days. She said she didn’t want to do long distance. I removed her from instagram. She came back on another platform but I didn’t understand why and didn t question it.

In December I went back to he city for her but told her it was for a friend. She had already changed her mind about long distance but neither of us said it out loud. She had planned the cinema, the library, the rock climbing. We had a good time together but i was too scared to tell her how much you’d missed her. I left without saying the real thing. I came back to my town and started rebuilding your life — new apartment in tclimbing, guitar, new friends, better headspace.

A few days ago I sent her an honest message telling her I had regrets from December, that I wished I d been braver, that I went to her city for her and not a friend, and that she mattered a lot to you. Not asking for a relationship, just telling the truth. She called five minutes after reading it. On the call she said no — long distance, her life being a mess, fear of not being able to give enough. But she spoke in the present tense the whole time, brought up the cider from our first meeting, laughed, opened up about her current life and fears, and hung up abruptly mid-warmth with no real goodbye like we didn t properly said goodbye take care and told me her biggest regret in life was not being honest with me in December. Since then she’s been completely quiet but i don t know what to do know regret is killing me about December but at the same time the conversation didn t feel final u know like we reconnected again then she stopped it? Is it over forever?

I need honest opinions on this situation because I feel like I’m losing my mind a bit.

About a year ago, I met a girl while traveling in We had an instant connection. She made a lot of effort to spend time with me even though she was busy, we spent the day together, went out, and ended up having a really nice and respectful intimate moment. It felt genuine, not just physical.

After I left, I developed feelings and sent her a long message, but she told me she liked me but wasn’t open to long distance, which I understood. We didn’t talk much after that.

A month later, she randomly reached out again and we started talking again casually. Nothing super deep, but the connection was still there.

A few months later, I went back to her city and saw her again. That’s where things got really intense. She made a lot of effort to see me, took me to her place (she told me I was the first person she ever invited there), we spent the night together just talking, hugging, being close. It felt very emotional and intimate, not just physical. She even kept a small item we bought together months before, which surprised me.

She told me things like “I wish we had more time” and “my house is always open to you,” so I felt like there was something real there.

The thing is… I didn’t really express my feelings at that time. Not because I didn’t feel anything, but because I was scared of crossing boundaries, saying too much, or making it weird. So I stayed pretty chill and didn’t match her level of emotional openness.

After that, we kept light contact, but nothing really progressed. She mentioned wanting to come to my town at some point, but it never happened. I also kind of held back because I assumed it was probably “dead anyway,” so I didn’t push things forward.

Recently, I reached out again. We talked normally, and I asked if we could call to catch up. She said she would let me know “next week,” but she never followed up.

Now I’m confused and honestly a bit hurt. On one hand, I feel like we had something real and unfinished. On the other hand, her current behavior feels low effort.

I’m also wondering if I kind of caused this by not opening up back in December when she was more emotionally available.

So I guess my questions are:

Did I mess this up by not expressing myself earlier?

Is her current behavior a sign she’s just not interested anymore?

Should I reach out again or just let it go?

I’m trying to be fair and not blame her or myself too much, but I feel really stuck between “this was something real” and “maybe I’m holding onto something that’s not there anymore.”

Any honest perspective would help.