First time posting!
AITA for pointing out it's hard to understand when husband is experiencing autistic overwhelm/the cusp of a meltdown, when the only behavioural change I can read is him suddenly having a mood swing - scowling and responding in very short, 'pissy' or sarcastic sounding responses with loads of huffing?
He always apologises sometime after when he's calmed down. However, I have REPEATEDLY asked that he communicate (even just with one or two code words) when he feels this coming on so I can actively manage potential triggers/remove him from the situation - rather than feeling like he's just being a dick to me.
He says he is unable to give me any heads up, so ultimately I just have to 'deal with it'.
AITA for being upset that I essentially have to manage his emotions..? I do not think this is fair, especially when he knows what factors trigger this (low blood sugar, dehydration, sleep issues, bright lighting or overly loud spaces).
I have previously asked him before we go food shopping etc. if he's okay and needs to make any adjustments beforehand, but we are middle aged adults and this feels infantilizing.
Background: Married over a decade, this is relatively new/more frequent behaviour. Partner is also stressed because of work. I am seeking a diagnosis for my own autism and find it relatively easy to articulate my emotions in real time in similar situations.