u/BitApprehensive5216

I have had dpdr for about a month now and its intenisty has greatly reduced compared to day 1 and I'm not as scared of it anymore. I have accepted it for what it is and yeah I would say im atleast 90% recovered from what i faced initially.

The only symptoms I have are:

1. My emotions still feel blunted

2. Time still feels weird (its like its going by fast)

3. I have all my memories but they don't feel the same (Might have something to do with emotions being blunted but I added it just incase)

4. There is still a little bit of that "unreal" feeling left.

I'm just wondering if all of these symptoms will go back to normal too and if so, what did you do for it?

To give context, I am 24(M) and I have been binge drinking (atleast 10 beers on friday and saturday) every week for the past year. I was never addicted to alcohol but it was more of a social thing every weekend. But about 4 weeks ago, I had one of the worst hangovers of my life. I woke up with intense neck pain (I didnt hurt myself the night prior or anything) and a headache that ranged from my forehead to the back of the head. It honestly felt like I was trapped inside my own head and it caused one of my worst panic attacks ever. I couldn't handle it and I went to the ER that day and they took a CT scan of my head and the doctor said that everything looked normal (except that my sinuses were a little inflamed). Then I thought I would go back to normal from my hangover like usual after day 2 or 3, but it still stayed. Everything looked dull and my vision was also blurry almost like it was a depression simulator.

Since then, I have been almost 4 weeks sober and I could also quit cigarettes with no withdrawals at all (which is very unusual) and I got my vision checked to and they said I have an astigmatism of -2.5 and the doctor said he has never seen someone have it to that extent for a first time prescription but structurally my eyes were perfectly fine. I also got my blood test done and I have a severe vitamin D deficiency (8ng/ml) and my vitamin b12 is almost deficient.

Everyday these past 4 weeks have been very hard on me. My vision after getting my prescription glasses still feels fake and I feel like a shell of my former self. I am just worried I caused some kind of permanent damage from drinking that one day because I have never felt like my usual self since then. My memories also feel so distant and it feels like I am just existing for the sake of it. Even happy memories that I cherished feel like they don't have any emotional value. Everyday I wake up I'm just stuck with this stupid feeling.

I am writing this to see if anyone has gone through anything similar or could guide me through this. If you did recover, what did recovery feel like for you? Did you have like windows of "normality"?

Side note: I used to smoke weed occasionally but that was 2 years ago and I haven't done any other drugs apart from that.