Ok so I (21f - also 36 weeks pregnant) and my fiancé (23m) have had conversations about birth control. About how I want an IUD or to get my tubes tied after I have this baby and I want him to either get a vasectomy or wear condoms after we have our baby.
This is my first child and his. I do not want any more kids. We are not in a good financial state to even have a kid (We have food stamps, wic, Medicaid). This pregnancy has been SO hard on me mentally. My dad got a VERY messy divorce from my step mom, we still haven’t found a place to live so we’re living with his grandfather, my mother is on hospice and about to die of terminal cancer. I know after I have our baby I will have severe postpartum depression and will struggle a lot.
I don’t want the risk of having another baby- at least not anytime in the near future- due to all of this. Because of this, I have had several conversations trying to speak to him about birth control, him getting a vasectomy or having to wear condoms (which he refuses to do and I know he’s not actually going to agree to in the future.)
He tells me it’s because “we’re young, we haven’t lived our lives yet”. He doesn’t want to get a vasectomy just for us to “break up and him have to go through the pain of getting it reversed if he wants a kid with someone else in the future. “
We’re engaged… I want to marry this man. I thought he planned on spending the rest of his life with me. And the fact that he said that to me while I’m about to have his baby just breaks my heart. Now I’m questioning everything and so scared of the future I thought I was secure in.
I don’t even know what to say or do. I’m just so hurt.
Am I overreacting??