u/Binxthecat98

Hey everyone, I’ve really been taking a look at myself these past few months and am worried I’m drinking too much. I do drink almost every night and I really don’t want to do that anymore!!

I was just about to list alllll the excuses WHY I drink but let’s be real that’s exactly what they are.. excuses. For me it’s boredom and not having my own space, and also a really over active mind so alcohol helps me to chill the hell out.

I’m currently living with parents while my place is being renovated and the issue is everyone around me drinks most nights but I feel I always take it too far and am filled with regret the next morning - always telling myself ok todays the day and then I have a really healthy day, work, be active, healthy eating and then it gets to the evening where everyone’s having a tipple and I think ahhh why not just one, but I have a problem stopping when I start. To be honest I just love being a bit pissed and listening to good music.

I feel like I need a group chat or something to help me stay accountable and give me reasons why I shouldn’t have a drink that evening! I feel like I cannot be bothered to watch a series and have a cup of tea.. like my mind is too distracted for that kind of thing at the moment.

I’ve just moved to a new country so I literally don’t know a single soul here which is also an issue, I’m just bored. It’s also not safe for me to just go venturing out on my own whenever and wherever I please - I’m in South Africa and am a 27yo female.

Just wondering if anyone has any good tips and tricks on where to start and some genuinely interesting things to do instead of sitting getting pissed listening to music or watching shit on my phone. How did you tackle the first few days when you’re so used to having a few glasses of wine with everyone in the evening? Alcohol gives me the confidence I so badly lack so I just kinda feel like I’m on cloud 9 after a few drinks but then I feel 10x less confident the next day from the drinking so it’s just a never ending cycle.

Sorry for the long post!

I met this guy from hinge a couple days ago, things went well, really nice guy. We were meant to go out the next day but something came up. He then didn’t really text too much, which was kinda fine by me as I was questioning if we were even compatible to begin with.

Anyway, fast forward a couple days and he didn’t text me for a day and a half which was not an issue at all, no hard feelings, nice guy just fizzled out! Anyway, he then texted me this morning saying “sorry I went quiet yesterday, I was really down, not sure why”. And I replied with “oh no hope you’re feeling better today, sorry to hear that! Make sure to listen to some good music to take your mind off things” (we had spoken about music helping when mood is low). He replied “yeah better today but I haven’t felt that down in a long time” so I basically said I’m so sorry to hear that and that I know I’m still kind of a stranger but I’m here if he wants to talk about it. I didn’t get a response.

While on the date he mentioned that he had gone through a really bad depressive episode for 6 months or so. My question is I feel like I should reach out in a friendly way and just do a decent human thing and check he’s actually ok? With no intention on trying to make him talk to me again, just want to be a kind person… if that makes sense? I’m genuinely concerned about him as a person but don’t want to come across like I’m trying to start things up again and not taking the hint from his no response.

I mean, I already checked in with him and told him I’m here if he wanted to chat but I’m not expecting it because we are still strangers in a sense.

I know how hard it can be to message someone when you’re feeling really low and not liking yourself so I don’t want to make him feel like I’m trying too hard to get him to talk, just want to make sure he is ok. Also don’t want to make him feel like I literally don’t give a shit either.

What to do? Have I said enough already?