Debating quitting my therapy, as my therapist is off sick again, and I'm feeling so let down.
I'm supposed to be having some trauma therapy for my PTSD (via the NHS), but I feel it's really not going well. The first CPN I got assigned was very dismissive of my PTSD, very verbally abusive towards my partner (I missed a session due to having pneumonia, which we let him know in advance, and he used that as an excuse to get very rude and aggressive with my husband). So I asked if I could change to a different CPN, they said yes but I was placed back on the wait list for a further 10-12 months. Eventually I get assigned my new CPN, who is lovely, but I barely ever see her because she's off sick constantly. Out of the multiple appointments we have had scheduled, I've only actually seen her for 4 of those since October last year. So between October 2025 and April 2026 I have only had 4 appointments with her.
I'm starting to not get my hopes up too high when we schedule a session now, as I know come the morning of that session I will receive a call saying she can't do it today as she's off sick. Then it will be multiple weeks before she schedules a different session. It's leaving me feeling so defeated. It takes me at least a week before a session to hype myself up enough to talk about my trauma, to really get myself into a mindset where I can open up without bawling, to then just hear she isn't in again. Which makes all the hype for nought. I feel so defeated right now, I want to quit. I just don't see the help ever being there for me, and I'm not willing to go through another year long wait for a third CPN again. That was so hard the first time. I've made a complaint, but I doubt there is anything they can do when she's off sick. I feel just abandoned to the system again, which is making me feel so much worse because a lot of my trauma actually comes from abuse at the hands of the NHS. Ugh.