u/Billabong1066

Hello everyone,
I’ve come here to ask advice from any other married people who are living in the same marital situation as me and my wife.
Basically my wife stopped wanting a sex life with me 12 years ago , it didn’t stop abruptly but it was the case that towards the end I was the only person putting any sort of effort into our sex life . I got to the point to where I stopped even trying to initiate any sort of intimacy which obviously made me feel really insecure and rejected.
Shortly after one of our children went off to university so therefore he bedroom became free and then my wife started sleeping in there , she said it was to get a better nights sleep but she never came back . She wasn’t annoyed with me and to be honest she seemed happy enough and just got on with life . Now and again early on I tried to talk to her about it but she just wouldn’t and one time said , “ Don’t start this again “
As the years went by I would try to talk but to no avail so I just plodded along feeling quite unfulfilled but sometimes putting it out of my mind as best I could . Then last week I told her I really needed to sit down and talk and to my surprise she agreed. I told her that I missed us being the way we used to be and explained that the whole thing had a pretty bad effect on my wellbeing and that I have been feeling unhappy and feeling rejection and loss over the years . I asked her again what was the main thing that tilted her into wanting a totally celibate marriage and she said it had become a chore , which I could see at the time . She said she was happy enough living this way but I’m struggling to be honest, the total lack of communication about it over the years has been a real feeder to resentment on my part and I hate being like this . We get well and life is peaceful but missing any sort of intimacy.
Basically is there anyone out there in the same situation and how do you reclaim some peace and live in a marriage like this . I would rather us stay together because we do still Love each other .
Thanks