For years now I've had this worry in the back of my mind that there used to be a different host and I unintentionally replaced them. Lately I've been worrying about this more often for some reason.
I have low self esteem, am anxious, and worry about making people upset. So my main concerns are that if I wasn't always the host:
It's possible the original host would have been better at handling things than I am (mainly socializing and dealing with people)
What if the original host is still in our mind somewhere? What if they wanted to keep being the host and they're mad at me for taking their place?
Did anyone else go through something similar/have similar worries? How did you cope?
Any advice would be appreciated, thanks!
(P.S. I tried googling this and mostly got results from the DID subreddit, which said there's no original "identity"/alter. I did not find this helpful because 1. we probably don't have DID. 2. I'm not sure if that applies to us. Our early memories are kinda fuzzy, but for a long time there were only one or two of us. I remember that there were two of us since at least middle school. I'm not sure how many of us were there before we were in middle school.)