u/Bigdawgkev1970

I've been with my BPD covert narc wife for 9 years. This is the week I've finally realized nothing will ever change. It's always about her. She's always a victim. She puts her 40 year old son ahead of me. She's never accountable. She's financially reckless and irresponsible. She lies. She's secretive. She's run up her credit cards. Her credit is shit. When I ask about her finances she tells me it's none of my business - even though we have a mortgage and a few loans in our names together. We are in our late 50's. Second marriage for us both. I have no idea of she has life insurance. I can't ask her about it because she tells me it's none of my business. When I try to have a conversation with her about our finances she is evasive. It's exhausting. I shouldn't have to have a battle with my partner.

I'm 56. My wife is 58. We've been together 9 years. She is a true BPD covert narc. She makes over $100k per year and it's a spend-a-holic. Her credit is terrible. She buys things she doesn't need. She pays for so many things for her 40 year old son. I manage our finances. Thank God. We never miss a payment on anything.

Almost 59. She makes $100k+ per year. She owes the IRS $40k. She has $82k in student loans (since she was in her 20's). She had $35k in credit card debt. When I try to tell her I feel she has a spending problem she turns into a 10 year old and starts calling me names. Tonight she went into our bedroom and found anything and everything she's ever bought for me (none of which I ever asked for) and threw it in the garbage.

We haven't had sex in a year. We haven't slept in the same bed in 10 months. My birthday was last Friday. She didn't wish me a happy birthday before she left for work.

We paid off her car loan two years ago. I recently found out she took out a secured loan on the car for $20k and gave the money to her son.

Why do I stay in this marriage? I'm generally happy. I love my job. I make more money than she does. I have no credit card debt. I have a lot of friends and family.