u/Big_Strike7268

After 15 years. I finally left my bf, its been 4 months no contact: i never thought i can get it here.

Extremely long story short, he was a bad guy. Liar, cheater, gaslighter, jailbird, mamas boy. Didn’t want to marry me or take me seriously until he got someone else pregnant 3 years ago. We dont have any children. It broke me. Out of love & stupidity, i stayed with him but it was over. I can never forgive him for that & i knew he wasnt the one i should walk down the aisle with. I finally decided to leave at the top of this year while he was in jail again for a month.

Him and his family have since reached out but i dont feel i can go back. Problem is, i feel so sad, so depressed, i know i did the right thing but i feel like my life was stolen from me. & i ask myself if i actually did the right thing. Im terrified if having to start over. In my early 30s, i feel old :/ i dont know how to get myself out of this depression. I hate the fact that i care for someone like that. I hate how someone can ruin their 15 years relationship for someone else that meant “nothing” to then. I hate how you can think u know someone and realize u barely knew them or yourself all those years.