A little background, I have been with my husband for 13 years. Married for three.
His entire family (both my in laws, GMIL and Aunt in law lol) are just…… duds. I have genuinely never met more apathetic people in my life. I genuinely can not tell if it is just absolute negligence or what.
Here are some examples.
-when my husband and I started dating (we are HS sweethearts) I was not allowed at his house. At all. Ever. I figured it was just because they were religious. Turns out it’s because their house was condemnable, according to my husband the roof leaked. They hoarded animals. They did not have enough beds for their children to sleep in and the house was just generally dirty. This is how 7 years of our relationship was.
-around year 8 of the relationship they moved to a beautiful new home. In the 4 almost 5 years they’ve lived there it too has fallen into disarray. It is infested with cockroaches. They will not call an exterminator. Their oven broke a year ago. They have made no moves to fix it. Their vacuum cleaner went on the fritz. They’ve not replaced it and have not vacuumed in probably 3 or 4 years. They have two dogs. One of them (the female) they have no had fixed. They do not take either dog to the vet. Last time we were over there their male dog’s claws were growing into his footbed. My in laws are empty nesters at this point and I do not understand how this is happening. There are about a million more examples I can give but I’ll spare you the time.
On top of this. We’ve recently found ourselves in a spat over politics. I will decline to say which side we/they fall on but we are on opposite ends of the political spectrum. My husband reached out to try and make amends months ago. His mother informed him that the “phone works both ways” and then ghosted him. It is regular that they do not talk for extended periods of time.
She blames pretty much all of this on her “depression” but has never (to my knowledge) pursued therapy or any form of help.
It frustrates me to no end and places alot of strain on our relationship. I will give it to my MIL she is not mean to me. In fact when I find myself around her we do fine for the most part. It’s just really heavy on me how insanely incapable my in laws are. I have genuinely never met people this generally incapable and I am at my wits end. Any advice appreciated.