I’m struggling with a situation in my relationship and I don’t know whether my anxiety is justified or whether past issues are making me hypervigilant.
My partner and I agreed to exclusivity and monogamy from the beginning, and I’ve fully honoured that. Lately though, I’ve started feeling uneasy and suspicious, mostly because of changes in communication and secrecy around his phone. He uses WhatsApp heavily and has Face ID enabled along with locked chats. I know everyone deserves privacy, but it’s triggered a lot of doubt and insecurity in me.
The hard part is that I genuinely love him and want to repair and reinvest in the relationship if it’s healthy to do so. But I also don’t want to ignore my instincts and end up blindsided. Right now I feel stuck in a “trust but verify” mindset and I honestly don’t know whether that’s reasonable or unhealthy. I’ve tried talking to him but he insists that he’s honouring his commitment.
Has anyone else been in this position where you couldn’t tell the difference between intuition and anxiety? How did you approach it without becoming controlling or obsessive? But most importantly, how can I access those WhatsApp messages? I only have the password to his phone.
TL;DR:
I love my partner but growing secrecy around his phone has made me suspicious, and I can’t tell whether I’m sensing real problems or reacting from fear/anxiety. I’m wondering how I can access the WhatsApp which has Face ID lock.