I had been with my ex on and off for 5 years, we share a young daughter. It started with him yelling and shaking and moving the couch trying to throw me off while I held our newborn. I hadn’t cleaned, he said I didn’t do enough. I thought he was right. Then it was emotional, manipulating, gaslighting, twisting every word I said even in casual conversations. I thought I must be at fault since it was every time, every conversation no matter what topic. I questioned my sanity so many times. Then it was a door to my head leaving me with a large gash and a scar. He said it was an accident I tried to believe him. Now he’s in jail for punching me. I still almost think I’m in the wrong here. We fought each other all the time, yelling, screaming, stuff being thrown. It was on both of us, I couldn’t help it I was so fed up. It’s like my body and brain couldn’t handle it anymore, the mental warfare, the constant cheating, the repetitive jokes about my looks, it would be too much. When he was arrested I felt awful like it was my fault I wanted to tell the cops I lied that nothing happened it was a misunderstanding. Thank goodness for a no contact order. I feel like I can finally think clearly now that he’s not around, I feel like I finally realize this isn’t good, this relationship is bad and toxic and yes abusive. I still feel bad for giving into my emotions, for yelling and fighting back. Maybe I’m an abuser too I don’t know. I’m just glad it’s over.
u/Big_Commission_3998
Location: Ottawa county Michigan
Last night a friend called the cops on my bf because he believed a domestic violence situation happened between us, me being the alleged victim. When the cops came they made me feel pressured to say he hit me even when I tried explaining the situation and it was purely accidental and I was the instigator of the fight. No blows were landed on purpose. I even told the cops I was drinking and couldn’t think clearly but whenever I said it was purely accidental they would give me certain looks and tell me that I shouldn’t lie. They arrested my bf and I want to know what I can do to help him, I can’t afford a lawyer I have a total of $4 in my bank account. Can I just call the station and explain what happened? Can I talk to a judge? I’ve never dealt with anything cops/jail/lawyers before. I miss my bf and our daughter misses him I just want him out and back home. And no I assure you this is not a case of “he hit me I love him” I started the fight. It was only yelling, I have a bruised face because of my own stupid actions not because he hit me.