I posted this story before. But I need some reminders tonight that this person is not my friend. He called and cried, and told me he was sorry, and that I couldn't possibly believe we weren't friends, and practically begged we try to be friends again. I l told him Id have no self-respect if I let him in my life again. But Im wavering.
Here's the story for context.
I (35f) have a close friend (40M) of 5 years. I had the misfortune of experiencing psychosis last year. I told him I was in love with him (That part is true, I am).
But I also talked with him for about an hour about how I was traveling through time, could see the future, and was magic. Then I came onto him, and we had sex.
The next day I was still bad. I said goodbye to him and I left his house. I was walking around trying to "decode" the secret messages that I thought were in the billboards etc.
I called my other friend, who said I sounded so strange on the phone that she had to come find me. She said when she found me she didn't even recognize me, and that I was acting so strangely it scared her.
She said she was angry that he would let me leave his house in my current state. She called him and told him he needed to help her me to the hospital.
He saw me in the ER. Yelling things that made no sense. Writing on the wall. Stealing things and putting them down my pants. Obviously this is not normal for me. I was committed into the mental hospital against my will, for my own good.
After a week, I got out of the mental hospital. What followed was 6 weeks of us sleeping together, except for 1 week in between where I had to go to the mental hospital again. I was in and out of lucidity.
After those 6 weeks, he was acting strange, I asked him if he had any feelings for me. He said, "I've only ever seen you as a friend." I said, "I told you I was in love with you, why would you be sleeping with me if you didn't feel the same??"
He said, "I didn't think you were actually in love with me, I thought you said that because of your state of mind." I felt like that was even worse!
He said, "I felt like I was taking advantage of your situation."
Im having a hard time dealing with this. I feel humiliated, betrayed, and heartbroken. I don't know how to see him as a friend anymore. But it hurts to lose him.
TL;DR: My friend had a 6 week sexual relationship with me after I told him I was in love with him. Then admitted he only saw me as a friend. The fact that he did this when he knew I was not mentally well is just another layer I don't know what to do with. He apologized and wants to be friends again, and I told him no. AIO?