u/BigMicrotubule

I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for months now. Every time I fall asleep i’m in a nightmare and it’s ruining my life. I’ve escaped my parents’ house only physically, but due to their neverending drama and expectations of me, I’m not mentally able to escape. I’m 27 and it feels like no time has passed and nothing has changed in the last 10 years. Little me would be so disappointed that this is still affecting me. I want to have restful/deep sleep but it’s hard when you wake up in terror and sweating. I yearn for parents that don’t exist. Hell, at this point I don’t want any parents… but I’m arab so if I lose my parents that means I lose all of my extended family too, including my younger cousins who mean a lot to me. I want a break from my life. I’ll never be the muslim they want me to be and I’ve accepted that, I just wish this feeling of guilt that has plagued me my entire life would end.