u/BigFatDramaLlama94

So backstory. My husband is 32 M and I am 31 F. He has a daughter from a previous relationship and we have one together. I just had my daughter in December of 2025. It was traumatic; I spent 16 days in the hospital with severe preeclampsia and delivered my little bug at 34 weeks. My husband did not stay with me the entire time - this is important later. Baby spent 11 days in the NICU before coming home. We drove back and forth together after I was released.
So anyway. I work as a teacher and the yearbook advisor for my small district. We are currently working on senior materials, including the baccalaureate videos. I was searching for a photo sent by a parent in my Facebook messages and found an old spam message from my time in the hospital. I clicked on it, not thinking anything of it. People message me all the time. When I opened it, my heart sank. There, a woman had put a picture of my husband’s face next to a picture he had sent of his stiff member. I recognized the closet of our bedroom in the background with my clothes in the frame. His hair was freshly cut for the maternity photos I never got the chance to take. Everything looked legit. I checked the date it was originally sent and my heart broke. While I was in the hospital, we had my stepdaughter over Thanksgiving break. The plan was for her to stay at home with my husband so she would not be bored at the hospital for a week and ruin her thanksgiving. I called my husband frequently while they were at home and it kept my spirits up about being alone in the hospital. At 10:30 I get a call from my husband that he misses me too much and they are coming to stay with me until his daughter goes back to her mom’s. I’m elated. I missed them so much it hurt. He made me stay on the phone with him for the entire 40 minutes drive to the hospital to (what I thought at the time) make sure they didn’t hit any elk/deer as they are bad in our area.
Cut to now. I find out that that late night, spur of the moment decision to come see me is likely caused by the woman he sent his pictures to telling him she was going to text me that he was sending pictures of his junk to other women. The time her message came in was about 20 minutes before he calls and says he misses me and can’t be away from me anymore. He kept me on the phone so he would know if I found out and likely to keep me from the message that i never recover because it went yo spam.
I texted him the picture and told him he needed to explain or i was packing up our child and leaving that night. He immediately sent back he didn’t know what it was. I get home that afternoon and he is nonchalant, acting as if nothing is wrong. I ignore him and put my bay down for a nap then go lay down and cry myself to sleep. He comes in and reassures me he has no clue who it came from or what it is but that he didn’t do it. I tell him i know everything and not to lie to me. We argue for awhile and he eventually says “well if I did it, I’m sorry.” And walks away. That was it.
It’s now been two weeks and i am still so incredibly hurt. I don’t know if he is still doing it, how long it was happening, or how many women he has done it to/with. I cringe every time he touches me or wants to be intimate. I can’t just leave because I don’t make enough and my family lives 70 miles away. Quitting my job is not an option because of my daughter and we just purchased a brand new car in March that is solely in my name.
I am at a loss here but I can’t keep living like this.
Am I overreacting? What do I do?