feeling inadequate compared to their birth child
A little rant i guess
I was adopted when I was younger, and their daughter was a young teenager. They obviously adored and spoiled her since she was an only child, so I grew up looking up to her in that way. I saw how much they loved her and their dynamic and I wanted that too. I’m sure she felt resentment towards me, which is completely understandable from her perspective. Having a new, annoying younger sibling when you’re already a teenager is something that would be so hard to adjust to.
When she got older, I noticed how my parents treated her as mature. She was able to go out on her own, had her own card and could spend my parents money whenever. They bought her expensive designer bags and clothing, and my father and her went to new york every year just them. Now I am the same age she was and they really disregard any of my desires to be independent. I don’t have a card, I don’t have a permit, and I don’t have any way to do things on my own like she did.
When she turned 16, she got both a brand new car and a large party at a venue, with TWO quincenera-like dresses, which are minimum like $300-400 I believe. It was a big event (50-60 people give or take, i was pretty young) with family flying out and themed decorations.
I got more distant with my parents when I became a teenager, like most people do, especially towards my father. I became uncomfortable around him because of his disregarding my boundaries with touching and grabbing me.
I recently turned 16, and a couple of months before that, I told my parents that I wanted to go to new york for my birthday and bring one friend with me. My dad and sister go to new york EVERY year, so I really didn’t think it would be a big deal. I’ve always found myself comparing myself (and my parents treatment) to my sister when growing up, and this time was when I got really upset about it.
I got into a big argument with my parents about it and never was able to go. They said it was too expensive. We are well off, so I did try to ask the real reason of why he didn’t want me to go. It got really weird and off track and he said it’s because I never showed him any affection. I told him that I’ve always said I didn’t like touch. (He would pinch my bottom and restrain me to kiss me but it made me very uncomfortable even when I was a little girl.) Then he said I would meet a man and I’d be giving off the wrong signals If i didn’t like to be touched like that because he wouldn’t understand???? Super confused on that. I don’t know.
On my birthday we went to the cheesecake factory instead. Didn’t even get a cake or sung to lol I ended up crying in the bathroom. Three months later and they’re BUYING MY SISTER A HOUSE.
I’m starting to build resentment towards my sister because of my jealousy towards the way she is treated. I’ve never felt like my father truly accepted me as his child; never loved me like he loved her. Sorry If this sounds bratty lol i’m still kind of angry about it