I (23F) started seeing this guy (25M) off hinge about a month ago. I’m a pretty skeptical person when it comes to dating and while I’m not entirely opposed to casual, that’s not what I wanted with him. I don’t even ever feel like making it to a second date with a person but w him I actually liked him enough to go on a third. Super early stage I know, but that actually means something to me because I find it really hard to be attracted to people and genuinely like them.
Point is, he had ‘short term relationship, open to long’ when we matched and when I asked about it he seemed like he wanted to see where things potentially went. I even asked him if this was just sexual to him and he seemed upset that I would even ask him that. He said if he likes someone it’s different. He told me he deleted his hinge to focus his energy in one direction when we started talking after that (idk if this was to reassure me). I was quite surprised?? He was also being a lot more intimate and information sharey with me then I would expect (especially for someone w purely casual intent). We were literally having 8 hour dates. He kept saying he’s too comfortable w me and doesn’t tell people the information he was sharing w me. Me being skeptical, I brushed this off and basically joked about him talking shit here but obviously I made a note of all of this mentally.
Days later between our second and third dates, he changed his hinge to ‘short term relationship’ and this really threw me off because he wasn’t acting this way with me and I didn’t get his intentions w me. Eventually, after our third date (where once again he was being crazy intimate), communication was sparser than usual. But I tried to be okay w this given he was on a trip and I was really ill. Eventually, my gut was just screaming at me so I told him I’m not sure if I’m feeling our situation because something tells me we’re on different pages intention wise. He basically then told me he hadn’t seen someone this many times in a while but was conflicted on wanting something serious and would really want to see me again if it’s not something serious overall. I basically shut this down and ended things because I’m not settling for no effort but all the emotional intimacy regardless of whether he likes that or not. Next day, I went onto hinge to unmatch him and he changed his relationship want back to ‘short term relationship, open to long’.
I can’t tell if he was ever even genuinely interested in me? If he wanted a long term relationship just not w me? Or if he’s figured that women aren’t going to swipe on ‘short-term relationship’. I’m so sorry I’ve written an essay here but wanted some perspective.