u/BeyondFrequent4258

I would like to preface this by saying... I apologize for typing this in a weird way. I seem to waver on the line between formal writing and casual writing, as I'm not sure what is appropriate for a reddit post.

Of course, I have my beloved special interests/hyperfixations. Those are my favorite pieces of media. I have probably mentioned this in another post, but I don't remember.

Well, this is hard to explain, but sometimes I act like my favorite characters/other personalities. Sometimes it's something I choose to do, and sometimes it just randomly happens.

You ​know, one of my interests is Austin Powers. So... right, let's just do finger guns at my friends to greet them, for example. Maybe the soggy school french fries are looking particularly shagadelic today.

Or, say... act nonchalant and unbothered by everything because like The Rolling Stones, I am apparently a cool badass rockstar at the moment.

Or perhaps act a bit brash and tough, like Ozzy Osborne or something.

Naturally, that is weird. I am a weird individual. I am not afraid to admit that 😅

Here's the "odd one out" part. None of my friends like that stuff. Like... even remotely. They like other things, and talk about media that they actually like.

At lunch at school, for example, they have been watching a T.V. show that they all really like together. I am invited to watch with them, but I genuinely cannot force myself to care. I just can't find it interesting. So I usually sit a bit away from them and draw pictures related to my interests by myself. ​

This leads to me feeling a bit left out, but I know it isn't their fault. I just physically can't get into anything that isn't related to things I like, and it's a bit awkward being the only one in the group who isn't into certain things. I sort of feel like the odd one out sometimes.

I haven't brought myself to delete my account, but I've had the browser tab closed and am 20 days clean. I feel a lot less gross and weird, and was inspired to start writing some fanfiction. It's really shitty fanfiction, but I am indeed 20 days clean!

Sometimes it gets really hard, but I try to hang in there.