u/Beverlydriveghosts

A lot of people think of avoidants as people who will randomly ghost people when someone is treating them well, which is true for some. In my case ive been treated poorly by many people, constantly disappointed, retreat into myself and become hyper independent so i dont rely on anyone.

But at the same time I have such a victim complex. Yes there were circumstances where i have been a victim, but im not every time. My brain creates this “woe is me” when there’s conflict and will cherry pick information to make me into a victim in my head. Then I shut down, want to isolate and run away.

But I still don’t trust people to treat me well. I can’t tell what’s real sometimes. Am i rly being treated badly or am I victimising myself? I wanna get out of this mindset and empower myself but the only way I can do that is independence, that’s all I know

Last couple years I’ve tried to accept people as they are and meet them as they are. People have told me I expect too much from people. So I crawl back into my shell not wanting to know anyone. It’s too painful.

When it comes to a relationship I am so scared you guys. I feel like it will either be live alone and accept it or accept that I won’t be treated exactly how I want or deserve to be. My parents relationship messed me up.

3 weeks of Braun IPL. Tattooed skin that did not receive IPL vs skin that received IPL. Zoom in.