ADHD and Cutting People Off Quickly- how is it for you?
Hi all. I’ve been wondering how common this pattern is among fellow ADHDers when it comes to maintaining relationships and staying in contact with people.
Firstly, I tend to move on from people pretty quickly - both romantically and friendship-wise. Of course, there are friends I’ve had for years and will always stay close with. But now at 36, whenever I meet someone and we don’t really click, or I change my mind about them, I usually don’t talk it through- I just quietly move on without much explanation. Almost like putting a product back on the shelf in a store.
Some people say I’m cold or calculated, but it honestly doesn’t feel that way to me. I think it’s more self-protection- avoiding being drained by people once I start noticing red flags. I do move on easily, though.
Secondly, I can’t seem to keep contacts of people who ignored me at some point, didn’t put much effort into staying in touch, or who I simply lost interest in contacting. I delete the numbers and conversations because I don’t even want them sitting on my phone.
For example, a guy asked for my number three weeks ago, but his texting style felt so fluffy and boring to me that I stopped replying and deleted his contact. I did the same with a girl I met through sports- after hanging out a few times, I started seeing red flags, so I ghosted her and deleted her number too. Y’all don’t exist to me anymore.
I can be really stubborn and black-and-white about this stuff, and honestly it scares me sometimes, but I don’t know how to act differently. Is anyone else like this? I’m asking genuinely 🙏🏻