u/Better_Purchase_2898

37 Female

Not completely out of the woods yet. Honestly today is the first day of stomach issues for me. Pepto for the win on that one ya feel me. Other than that I feel about 65-70% normal. And I'm so god damn grateful for that. Grateful for my gf making sure I have helper meds like vitamin c and stomach meds and ibuprofen and all that shit. She's been super supportive and reminding me of who I am and compared to other things I've been through, this is a cake walk. It's just uncomfortable. But remember it's TEMPORARY. every time I run to the bathroom I say, it's temporary. Bc as you know on 7 you don't go regularly or at all. My body is trying to heal itself and I'm okay with that. I deserve that.

But as I sit here thinking, I'm still grateful. I've found healing in this journey and strength I'm overcoming a bad decision once again. I'm still here. This wasn't my first time in withdrawal from dumbass decisions but I know it's my last. I'm done. Too old for this shit & like I said before in my other post there is no happy pill for me.

I've been focusing more on telling my story with my mental health journey and how I ended up here, which most can relate to. The subreddit for cptsd has been incredibly nice to read to know I'm not alone. Even if the information I'm taking in is painful.

The only way out is through. I'll update on day 7. 🖤

Avé 😈

I'm done with this bullshit. Been through this same fucking feeling off of subs years ago. & This is my reminder to quit fucking around. There is no magical happy pill for me. Just accept the fact that my life has been shit and work through the mental problems instead of masking them. I'm coming to terms with w lot of things. My life was hard and I shouldn't even be here- most times I wish I wasn't. But making it to day 3 off this shit after trying so many times means a lot to me. I know I'll get through it like I always do. Been through worse I suppose. But it's just uncomfortable as fuck.

For reference I have OCD cptsd bipolar schizoaffective etc etc etc etc

Most people with mental health issues search for something to make them feel better. I've done it my entire life. I am a 37 year old woman, no longer afraid of my mind. I just wanted to feel good. The answer was never in a substance. The answer might not even exist. And that's okay bc we aren't here forever. Next life will be golden after all of the suffering. .

Good luck to everyone. I'm proud of myself so far. 🖤

Long read but here goes..

Currently here's the run down:

After my spinal cord injury I started using plain leaf Kratom for a year or so, but then got desperate bc I had been kind of left to my own devices for pain management after so much nerve damage that was caused from the injury. I can still walk but with a mobility aid and only for short distances. & The residual pain after surgery became relatively unbearable.

So I started on 7oh to help get myself through packing and a move an hour away with very little help. Roughly up to 500-600mg per day as it became a habit as we all know. Mainly dude to the withdrawal symptoms.

I am now on butrans patch for pain management.

Pregabalin (Lyrica) will be available to me in a day or two.

Have also been dosing liposomal vitamin c.

I am also on Prozac for OCD and other mental health stuff.

So I have a couple of questions.

-I have been dosing 7oh while on the butrans patch bc the patch was not touching withdrawal symptoms but I'm wondering if I've just been throwing myself into withdrawal by doing so.? (I know, kind of dumb).

-Will I be able to tolerate the waiting game to day 5-7ish (or the worst part to be over) with those comfort meds alone?

-Any other advice, or things I can do?

I don't want Suboxone, did that over 5 years ago cold turkey after a really bad opiate addiction. COLD TURKEY SUBS WAS ABSOLUTE HELL AND DAMN NEAR A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE. I know I can kick this, I just want to maximize my comfort if possible.. Already dealing with chronic pain that never goes away on top of withdrawal symptoms is not my idea of a good time. Just want to be able to manage my life while waiting this shit out. (Not asking for a cure all, as I obviously know it's gonna be somewhat uncomfortable)

I can feel the morale boost just thinking about it.

Knowing that I can get through this. I did what I had to do pain management wise &now it's time to cut the shit off and get back right again. A long life of addiction and self medication, and being dealt a shitty hand lead me here, but I am 100% stronger than any of this bullshit I've done to myself, or as a result has ever been done to me. I demand to take back my life, once again, and overcome something difficult, yet again.

🖤 You guys give me hope. Please reach out to me if anyone wants to go through this together.