u/Better_Profession835

Maybe i’m not special,

and that’s okay.

Everyone’s doing what they are born to do,

and me?

Im here trying to not misspel a word,

trying to not burn my food,

trying to live my life with the doubt,

Am I special?

Maybe not.

and what?

Should I just cry about it?

Should I just give up everything?

Probably.

But im not doing that,

it would be easy.

Sometimes I would like to,

life is not easy,

most of the time you just want to stop,

you just want to throw everything away,

every experience,

friends,

family,

connections,

everything,

is it really worth?

The night that I died wasn’t quite what I expected.

No one was sad.

No one felt guilty.

They were just… there.

In the end I thought that I was somehow special,

that I was different from them.

I let their voices become louder than mine.

And when I least expected…

I found myself drowning not even knowing why.

I can’t tell if I lost myself at some point,

because I wasn’t really myself all this time.

If only I’d let myself stop pretending for a little while,

maybe I’d still be alive.

It felt safe for me,

pretending I’m someone that I’m not,

but it could not end right here.

And then I was…

At the end of the trail,

a trail that wasn’t even mine.

Looking at death.

That void.

That… nothing.

That was familiar to me.

I’ve seen that my entire life.

So I decided to break that chain.

But it was already late.

I think I could have done more.

Or maybe not.

So I learned…

You can’t live a life that isn’t even yours.

So that was my last night.

The night that I died.

(Can someone give me some advices? I would like to write something good. That was just something that I was feeling and wanted to write down)