u/Better-Remote-7712

i’m gonna make this really short, so feel free to ask any follow up/contextual questions;

i (19f) have been dating my girlfriend “emily” (19f) for ~6 months. we go to the same college. she is graduating a year early and attending grad school. i am graduating in 4 years and attending medical school.

she recently wanted to sign a lease on an apartment for our junior year. i told her i wasn’t comfortable making that commitment 6 months into a relationship, even if we wouldn’t be living together until fall of 2027.

emily understood my concerns and is signing with a friend instead, but the conversation led to when we will move in together.

i want to attend medical school out of state, she wants to attended grad school in state. she asked if i would stay in-state for medical school while she was in school, and i told her i didnt want to make any promises until i was closer to graduation. however, i also told her that i currently do not plan on changing my plans.

emily got very upset and told me i wasn’t considering her enough in our future, making her feel like i don’t even want one. i think a future with her sounds nice, but i also think we just moved out of our parents houses and need to establish our own independence first.

so, aita for not considering her? or am i right in feeling like we need to pump the brakes on this a little?

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u/Better-Remote-7712 — 14 days ago