I forgave my boyfriend at the time for shoving me out of my seat in a bar because he was upset that I showed a tattoo on my arm that I had to lift my shirt to take my arm out since it was a long sleeve, and minutes prior he and his friend had shown each other their junk so I didn’t think it would be an issue if I briefly lifted my shirt. He shoved me so hard that I landed in the next table, halfway on the ground, I ended up with bruises. He was drunk, he didn’t mean to do it that hard, I remember thinking to myself.
Then he broke up with me after 3.5 years, and when I was walking away from him he shoved me. Days later, we lived together, he woke me up in the middle of the night accusing me of locking him out, and he shoved me. Things escalated, and he beat me and strangled me repeatedly, chased me outside and kicked me in the head after strangling me again.
I regret forgiving him after the first time he shoved me. I regret being loyal to him, since turns out he had been cheating on me. I regret giving him so much grace, because he manipulated me so severely and tried to end my life.
I’m so mad, and the justice system works so slow. I can’t forgive him, and it’s so unfair that he continues to minimize his cruelty.