This is unfortunately something that has been going on for over a year, and it’s starting to become an issue. Depression has been rearing its head that no amount of therapy and techniques has been able to fix.
I’m in the UK, and went through the NHS and got to the end of the waitlist - yay! The first few appointments went good, but two years back I had a mini stroke that complicated matters. Understandable, they need to make sure I’m okay to go on T.
However, after being cleared, a few appointments later I had a blood test and I was called in for another appointment where my doctor asked me if I had been diying T (which I haven’t). My doctor says it is free floating testosterone that is doing nothing for me except sparse facial hair.
So, to the endocrinologist I was referred, and 9 months later started a series of gruelling tests that included internal and external ultrasounds, drug trials and MRIs. All found nothing malicious - which makes me think I have PCOS - that were spread intermittently across months and whenever I got letters from the nhs.
So my last mri was a month and a half ago and turned up nothing malicious - cool, great. However - I am now waiting for endocrinologist to get back to me and I fear I’m losing my optimism that I can go on T at all - when will the tests end? I contacted the doctors secretary just to find out that she hasn’t even seen the results of the MRI despite it being a month and a half ago.
I’m full of so much anger, and I flit between being like “oh well, I can’t change it so there’s no point worrying about it” and pure hatred for myself due to dysphoria. My boyfriend tries his best - he knows what it’s like bc he’s also ftm but he’s on T (before anyone thinks I’m getting T transferred from him to me, we sleep in separate beds and he takes his t gel in the morning hours before we see one another)
Unfortunately my only plan of action is to keep phoning every couple of weeks to check for updates.