I am completely done
I am diagnosed AuDHD and CPTSD, strongly suspect NPD although my therapists always disagree. It’s hard to tell whether they know better, or whether I’m hiding the worst parts about myself from them. As of today, I’m fucking done.
I am done caring, I am done trying to help, I am done trying to do a good job. I am so close to ending things indefinitely and literally the only thing stopping me is my husband, whom I love more than anything—much more than myself, and maybe even more than my pain.
I’m of the mind that if you are hurt, it’s your own job to fix it. I understand the building blocks: sleep is important, food is important, water is important. I genuinely care about people, yet I always mistreat them. My best friends are always people with deep emotional intelligence, and yea I think that do s reflect upon me—the fact that they have to forgive my EQ deficits. I’m 37 and at this point I feel like I’m unfixable. Most of the people I love are gone one way or another il