u/BelleDevResearch

I'm a PoC, transgender, lesbian and above all else I haven't gain any weight at all since a long time even though I'm trying so hard. The more I see trans people being super cute and hot on the internet, the less I believe that I will actually succeed to be the person I was meant to be. Plus the burden of sticking a needle in my thigh every week for hormones is just... Meh. After about two years of HRT I started to slow down, and now it's been ages since I haven't done an injection. I'm going to the gym about 4-5 times a week to gain some muscles in my legs, I try everyday to eat more than my BMR to gain mass, but still I'm stagnant. I'm trying so hard but really I just want to be myself.

On the good side, I have a pretty androgynous face structure so just a bit of makeup is enough for me to pass, but only as long as I don't have a mental breakdown seeing my face in the mirror for an extended period of time.

All of this is just so hard, I want to believe in myself but I just can't :c

(English isn't my first language so if I happen to sound a bit too academic please be understanding <3)

So here am I trying to understand it. But first, my thoughts:

I really don't see what makes people lust over this character so much. For what I saw - and please excuse my words if they come harsh - she's a never-be-happy character that thinks she's on top of the world and comes crying on your shoulder when she messes up. I'll give it to her, she still get the job done even when others try to tell her not to do it.

But I might be wrong, and I sure hope so. It is really difficult for me to not like a side character that much, especially women when they're part of a game that have such good fem characters.

Please be kind, all I'm trying to do here is understand the situation and maybe I will change my mind. I really want to like her, but I currently don't see a point in that.

Thanks :)