u/Bekkii_

(i'm german so sorry if my english is not the best)

I went on a wedding of a friend alone and knew no one. But I did it. She said a friend of her is really nice and I could like stick to her which I did and was really helpful she was really kind and didn't make me feel like a burden.

But still it was really stressfull until my friend walkes down the ile (?) it was really okay but I was sitting exactly where the camera was ALWAYS filming me so I was always worried that everyone later would see my face my reactions and could laugh about it but it was too late to chance the place where I sit

And because of the taller People in Front of me I could see nothing and everything took like forever it was so hard and stressfull

After that there were Snacks and drinks and I could eat NOTHING and was really hungry by that time... Then I stood in a group on a table and I already started to shut down cause it was too overwhelming to keep track of the dynamics and conversations...

Wer took a big group photo which was also really stressfull for me cause everyone is going to see it and because I'm small I had to be at the front...

After that I started distancing myself and stood there alone a little hoping to recover a little

Then we took a photo with all of the friends of the bride which was actually kinda fun but right after that I thought "okay can I leave now?"

But I stayed a little longer, searching for some food I could eat but there was none

I went to the toilet to hopefully decompress but then I realized how dizzy I was—I struggled to stand up straight.

That was the point where I decided to leave the wedding. I told it to the friend of the bride she went to the bride so I could talk to her and I was so sorry she said its okay but as her friend told her there's something with me she seemed a little anoyed...

I drove to my partens who took care of my dog I was totally exhausted

I gretted my dog on the ground and then I just sat on the ground. I couldn't move or talk just really quietly... I realised that I'm having a shut down

I was really hungry my mom asked me what I wanted to eat but I couldn't make decisions she wasn't really sensitive about it tbh.. Just annoyed that I couldn't give a clear answer

Shes trying her best to support me but at this moment I just thought how Bad she is acting right now but I know it wasn't in purpose she did as good as she could

I then ate some noodels with cheese and really wanted to be home but knew I wasn't able to drive so my partens drive me

Leaving the wedding is now 5 hours ago and I'm still so exhausted and dizzy and I feel so horrible and quilty because I could not fulfill expectations... I really wanted to stay longer and I really tried so hard but I noticed that I couldn't be there anymore... But I really wish I could habe stayed longer... I feel so horrible and when I think about the day I feel overwhelmed and horrible... Guilty and sorry I couldn't stay longer