I do meds, I do therapy, I do CBT and ACT and all that but I'm still anxious and depressed and maybe borderline autistic but my therapist didn't diagnose me out of safety due to the current geopolitical climate.
Any advice helps. I want my loved ones to feel comfortable and safe enough to be vulnerable with me, but that requires a long-term sustained effort of emotional stability I haven't been able to manage in a long time and I am fucking tired of being a needy puppy and emotional vampire that makes them shoulder my emotional baggage as well as their own.
I'm sick of it. I want to change, I need to change, I have to change, but I keep regressing and repeating patterns and I am sick of it. My loved ones deserve better and ffs I want to be that before I lose them forever.