31F, I was given a diagnosis of BPD about 7 years ago. Well, the psychiatrist wrote that she believes I have BPD, I'm not sure if that means I was 100% diagnosed.
However, in the last 5-ish years I have been questioning whether I have BPD because a lot of the symptoms really only manifested at a particular time in my life when I was in a bad relationship and the contraceptive pill made my hormones and moods go haywire. I'm wondering if it could instead be ADHD, or something else entirely.
Sorry that this post is so long.
I am currently on an antidepressant for depression.
I've detailed the symptoms that I struggle with below. The thing is, apart from the more emotional symptoms, I don't remember really struggling with these as a child. I was a top student and never received any negative feedback on my behaviour in school. I think the procrastination/executive function issues really came out when I went to university, maybe because I was responsible for my own life/work at that stage?
- Highly sensitive to rejection and criticism, real or perceived
- Huge problems with executive functioning. Most of the time, if I'm not absolutely obligated to do something then I probably won't do it, it I'll put off doing it for ages. This happens even with things I enjoy doing.
- My attention span is very inconsistent. Sometimes I can lock in, especially when I'm in the office at work. But I find it next to impossible to work from home and sometimes I can't even focus on a movie.
- I can be quite sensitive to certain sensations and sounds.
- My moods can fluctuate a lot and I am quick to anger. I have a better control on my temper now but when I was younger I would snap very easily.
- Regulating my emotions is generally very difficult for me.
- When I have a lot of different tasks, I struggle to stick to one task and I tend to flit from one task to another and back again.
- I often start things with great enthusiasm, then lose enthusiasm or get frustrated and give up.
- I have general anxiety and social anxiety.
- I wouldn't consider myself a perfectionist as such but I impose quite high standards on myself and can be very hard on myself when I make mistakes or feel I haven't been good enough.