My (37F) boyfriend (41M) is considering long distance because of his mom
My boyfriend's mom was recently diagnosed with early onset dementia. She lives alone in a state that is 4.5 hours away. My boyfriend and I have only been together a year, but have started talking about a future. Now he is considering moving up there to care for her. I do not want this. I have done long distance before and in my experience it's bad. I've suggested us bringing her down here, but she doesn't want that. She has the means to get in home care or even go to memory care, but refuses to consider and is worried about the price of moving her body after she passes. There is no one else to care for her because his sisters are useless. I'm very frustrated. I do not want to put our future on hold because she will only agree to staying in her house. Prior to this, me and her were close but now I am so angry. I'm also concerned about him. He thinks he can do this all by himself. He already hates the town, suffers from depression, and will not have a support system. I own a house and have a life here. I'm not willing to give it up to be a caretaker. What do I do? How do I make him open his eyes and see that what he is planning is not the best plan for anyone?
**TL;DR;** : Boyfriend considering long distance with me to move in with mom and be sole caretaker of her because she refuses to come to us or get in home help. How do I help him see this is not a good plan?