u/Beginning_Barber3042

I’ve been diving into some psychology lately regarding attachment, and I kept coming across this idea of "The Illusion of Proximity." Basically, because we can text someone 24/7 and see their highlight REEL on Instagram, our brains trick us into thinking we have a deep INTIMACY that isn't actually there.

I’m 20, and I see this everywhere. We spend weeks "talking" to someone, building this PERFECT version of them in our minds based on blue ticks and emojis. Then, the moment we actually meet or things get real, the "projection" shatters because they’re a real, FLAWED human being not the character we created.

It feels like we’re dating "avatars" and then getting disappointed when the human doesn't match the digital version. We’ve become addicted to the FANTASY of a person rather than the reality of them.

I've never dated so I can ask this, how many of your "situationships" or heartbreaks were actually about the person, and how many were you MOURNING the version of them you invented?

I was reading about the "Paradox of Choice" lately and it made me look at modern dating totally differently. I’m 20, and I’ve noticed this weird trend, we have thousands of potential "matches" at our fingertips, but we’ve never been more LONELY.

Because we know there’s always "someone else" just one SWIPE away, we’ve stopped actually trying to fix things or even deeply get to know someone. One tiny disagreement or one OFF day, and we're back to the catalog. We aren't looking for a partner anymore; we’re looking for a PERFECT version of a human being that doesn't actually exist.

It feels like we’re all window shopping for a soul. We want the PREMIUM experience without putting in the work to build the "premium" connection.

I think we’ve lost the ability to be satisfied with a real person because we’re ADDICTED to the idea of a better one.