Beware of the odd feelings you get when sick or injured
10 months ago she left after twenty years. I am doing pretty well and have been for a while now, but last week I fell down the last two stairs after tripping over a few empty boxes some genius left on the steps. This was in a shop building and I hit the cement floor HARD, and in the process severely twisting my ankle and nearly dislocated the joint.
The end result was the worst lower leg injury I have ever had in my life. I thought I broke my ankle honestly, but it seems to just be a very deep and serious sprain. I have never had an injury like this, and it put me mostly in or on the couch with it elevated for the entirety of last week.
I had heard that when you are hurt or sick the first time after divorce that your mind reaches for the comfort and assurance of your old life. Holy hell is that true!
After just two days I was literally dreaming about reconciliation and wanting to call my ex-wife. I couldn't sleep very well so I ended up being awake at all sorts of weird hours (just like what had happened initially when she walked out) and I fell into a pretty deep depression which is not really how I ever am. Thankfully I knew that deep down this was just a temporary feeling and didn't act on any of this, but it was a rough week that I wasn't sure what was going on. It's been about 8 days now and I am heading out back to work today probably at about 75% recovered on the ankle, but 100% recovered in the head.
But I wanted to give you all a heads up if you find yourself in the same place someday.. Remember if you get incapacitated and start ruminating it is just your mind looking for a source of comfort and it's not a sudden realization that things are going to change or that you would want them to.
Hang in there guys, and be sure to use the handrails 🙂