Two deaths within a year.
I’m a caregiver for those with special needs and have worked in the same group home for over 10 years. We’ve experienced a lot of people passing away but typically they’re in the hospital or rehab when it happens.
Last year on May 3rd one of my residents was put on hospice care. I stayed in his room with him all night because he was still up and walking even 20 minutes before he passed. I unfortunately was sitting next to him when he passed.
Yesterday I got the call one of my residents who was going under for surgery crashed beforehand and was put on comfort care and given less than 24 hours. I went up to say my goodbyes and she passed in front of me.
I am typically okay with handling death but actively watching someone take their last breath is heartbreaking. Having it happen twice within a year is overwhelming. I feel so sick to my stomach, confused and I can’t stop crying. Unfortunately we do not get grievance time as this is our “job” no matter how much they meant to us or how hard it was on us. I am still recovering from the trauma the first death I witness caused me. I had nightmares up until earlier this year. I had a huge mental breakdown.
I’m just looking for an outlet because I don’t feel anyone around me will understand.
Edit: fixed a typo