This is kinda long and my first ever post but I’m looking for advice and opinions!
To give some background
I am the only mixed (black/Pacific Islander/white) woman in my mostly white family. I am the only person that’s black in any degree. My entire life I was never black or white enough. No one ever acknowledged my roots to Guam (my grandmother born and raised there) I was raised to be a “white girl” my hair was straightened and I wasn’t allowed to question my identity or my skin. I had some black people that told me to embrace being black and I’ve had white people telling me to let it go. No one’s ever encouraged me to embrace being mixed and I want to be able to.
Growing up was hard, I couldn’t make black friends because I had a white mom. I never understood why that mattered and to this day I still don’t. I don’t have any connection to my family in Guam, yet I do have a desire to. I never felt comfortable as a “white” person. My hair changed and I began to change with it. I realized I had thick curly hair that I’m still learning to take cafe of. I stopped being scared of the sun because I found beauty in my skin finally. But I still feel out of place.
How do I embrace my mixed race?
What helped you all find paths to your identities?
Any tips/hot takes/opinions?