NB18 idk i’m just sick of it
I feel like everyone just gets a sense that i’m weird or different or something. people who are supposed to be my friends exclude me a lot and it’s like they keep me close enough to still be friends but distant enough for me to feel this way. they ignore me a lot and i’m always being demoted and it’s saddening. they depend on me a lot tho. i know no one owes me friendship but i wish ppl would friend dump me or just not talk to me instead this. i’m a senior, and while im excited for all the events, i know ill feel lonely at them all. i try to ignore it and just enjoy myself but everyone has their groups. i’ve struggled socially since elementary and i just feel like once i graduate it’ll be even worse.
for prom my partner asked if any friends were doing anything after prom with me bc hers are but no one invited me. the way to spend it together but like that’s so embarrassing i don’t have any plans with friends. i’m tired of overextending myself for ppl. this year i stopped as much and it’s shown me worse how not valued i am as a friend. plus its so confusing. i distance myself and they are regular friend-like but when i open up they reject me.?
i know im young and i have years ahead but i really dont have hope. i’ve had hope for every new school i’ve been to.