Look, I get that as a society, we are veryyyy focused on sex. But honestly, I’m so tired of hearing every variety of therapy and treatment recommendation every time sex comes up just because I’m not interested in it. I don’t care about sex, I just don’t. I make that immediately clear whenever I date, and clarify that I will not be partaking in sex. The problem is, because I’m a CSA survivor, everyone just assumes I need to “heal” and then they can fuck me.
I have no idea if my asexuality is trauma related, and in all honesty, I just don’t care. I don’t want sex, and that is ok. It is not a problem I’m trying to “fix” or something I want to change. I go to therapy, I do what I need to do to keep going, and that’s all. I’m so fucking tired of people telling me that I just need to find someone I feel safe with or work harder in therapy.
Yes, I may be broken, or damaged goods or whatever else people think when they find out about my past, but I also get to be a whole person alongside of that. I’m allowed to have thoughts, and wants, and feelings that aren’t just all boiled down to a trauma response.
Maybe my trauma made me who I am, but I love who I am. I love not having sex. All I want is for people to respect me instead of viewing me as a problem that just needs to be fixed.
Thanks for letting me rant