My husband thinks I’m overthinking too much?
Hi, i’m newly married since last summer. I have some thought about mlw
“My husband thinks I’m overly sensitive about his mom, and I genuinely want objective opinions.
For context, my in-laws are not bad people at all. They’ve been kind to me in many ways, and I don’t think my MIL is some evil manipulative person. But I do feel like there are subtle dynamics that have built up over time and emotionally drained me.
I lived with them before, and during that time my MIL often vented to me emotionally for long periods, especially during a rough time in her marriage. One time I said ‘I don’t know what to say,’ and she responded, ‘I’m not asking you to say anything, just listen.’ Ever since then I’ve felt this pressure to absorb her emotions and always be emotionally available.
There are also smaller things that individually sound harmless, but together make me feel tense — like tasks quietly becoming expected of me, comments that make me feel subtly judged, or constant ‘my son is amazing’ type comments that feel emotionally overbearing to me.
My husband thinks I’m reading too deeply into normal behavior and says if his mom were actually being passive aggressive, he’d notice it too. But from my perspective, it’s years of subtle tension, expectations, and emotional labor that built up gradually.
Now there’s a long family vacation coming up, and I honestly don’t even want to go because I already feel emotionally exhausted thinking about it.
Am I overreacting, or can otherwise good people still create draining family dynamics without realizing it?”