Gut health is important
My friend's girlfriend's mom is a sex therapist. My friend apparently discovered this information the day before his girlfriend introduced him to her mother. My friend already told me how the meeting with the mom went, but it wouldn't be overheard if I shared what he said to me, so I'll share what I heard when him and his girlfriend eventually discussed it with my roommate. I'll be honest, I teamed up with my roommate to help me piece together everything that was said because there's no way I would've remembered all of this dialogue on my own.
Roommate: Why the fuck are we talking about gut health?
Friend: Because it's important.
Roommate: We're talking about your dick not your diet.
Friend: I never said anything about my dick though. Did anyone even hear me use the word dick until now?
Roommate: I just assumed your dick came up during your meeting with the sex therapist.
Friend: My dick never "came up" because I didn't meet a sex therapist. I met my future mother in law.
Girlfriend: Aww...
Roommate: Yeah, that's cute or whatever, but I feel like the mom being a sex therapist might have been the elephant in the room. Someone must have said something.
Friend: Said what??? Soooo I hear you get paid to tell people how to fuck? Be real bro. We had coffee and croissants. Not a therapy session. The end.
Girlfriend: Well...
Friend: Well what?
Girlfriend: She did get you to think about your gut health.
Friend: So? She said it was something she's more aware of now that she's older, but she wished she paid more attention to it when she was our age. That's not therapy. Is it?
Girlfriend: Your gut health can affect your sex drive, so knowing my mom, she was low key telling you to take care of your gut if you enjoy having sex.
Friend: I'm not saying you're wrong, but I don't think it was that deep.
Roommate: I think it was. Literally, actually.
Girlfriend: My mom was definitely dropping dick data. It wasn't just the gut health comment.
Roommate: What else?
Friend: Babe, I know you're messing with me, and it's fucking working, congratulations, so can we please change the subject because I would like to NOT think about your mom whenever sex is on the menu.
Girlfriend: Sex and food.
Roommate: Gut health bro.
Friend: Fuck you guys.