am i demi…?? (M, early 20s)
i’m really confused as to what my sexuality is because there’s a lot of conflicting and contradictory information from myself and also because of a lack of experience
so growing up in school i definitely experienced sexual attraction with people, often to people i had crushes on, but also these were people i didn’t actually know very well at all (i had a very anxious style of attachment and could’ve been described as “limerent” although i hate that label and have kicked it since), which led me to assuming i was heterosexual
but on the other hand i don’t really experience that too much anymore
i lost my virginity a couple months ago to someone i barely knew on a first date and throughout it i felt nothing, i didn’t really want to do it with her but she led me in that direction and i felt like i had a responsibility to
and then i’ve had what i think is my first real romantic emotional attraction to someone in my life that actually made sense, with a close friend of mine i’ve known for awhile, and i don’t really experience that sort of sexual attraction… or i do like occasionally but it feels very different from how it used to feel, like it’s more derived from a love and trust of this person than lust
so the last two things have led me to think that maybe i’m demi but that wouldn’t have been true my whole life, unless maybe my desire when i was younger wasnt what i thought it was?
can your sexuality change? is that possible? what do you guys think?