u/BeachJenkins

I'm M33, had feelings for a woman for ten years, had a four month affair, we ended it four months ago in a "put a pin in it for later," way, but in hindsight she was just trying to soften the blow. Past four months has been real tough, but the details aren't important, we're no contact, I've muted/hidden all her socials. We run in the same circles so I will have to see her at a friend's wedding in a couple months, but that's it, I'll just act like she's not there.

Anyway, I've been slowly making progress moving on, up and down, back and forth, but I'm slowly slowly getting there. Me and her weren't to be, I deserve someone who is available, I understand that now.

However, I recently learnt that her husband has signed up to casual sex-encounters sites and has been messaging people, and he's planning on going on vacation to sleep with prostitutes. I don't know if he's already cheated, but it's a matter of 'when' not 'if' at this point.

I am not going to tell her, it's not my place, and without going into details she disrespected me massively at the end.

But this has brought up some odd feelings. I'm happy, I'm happy that he's trying to cheat on her. That must sound so fucked up, I don't know why I'm glad. Maybe it's a "You'd rather be with him? That'swho you chose" thing, maybe it's smugness, maybe it's pettiness. If I genuinely loved her I'd want the best for her, so why does it make me feel better to know they're not happy?

I know my morals are all over the place, and I can't accurately type out a 10 year story, but has anyone any similiar experiences or any insight to this, maybe?

M33. Really annoyed with myself. We ended things a few months ago, I should have muted her posts sooner. I became quite addicted to checking her socials, it took me a while to check myself. I muted her on Monday, it's now Saturday night/early Sunday morning, and I just had a moment of weakness and wanted to check, I don't know why, I guess I wanted to see her, pretty pathetic, I know.

I had such a visceral reaction to seeing her picture, it raised all kinds of emotions that I'd barely buried. I didn't realise how well I'd actually been doing until that. So that's my silver lining, she's my addiction and I had a slight slip up, that's all, seeing her social media isn't helping my healing process and tonight has been a reminder of that.

I'm 614 days sober from alcohol, and there were many slip ups at first, but I just got up the next day and tried again. I should think of this/her in a similiar lens.