**TL;DR;** : He’s a good, reliable person but doesn’t respond to emotional conversations or vulnerability. I’m trying to decide if I should move forward or if this will lead to feeling emotionally unfulfilled.
I (28F) am in the process of an arranged marriage setup and could really use some outside perspective because I am feeling quite conflicted.
We have been talking for a few weeks now and both families have already met and said yes, so things are moving forward fairly quickly. On paper, he (34M) is a genuinely good person — consistent, respectful, family-oriented, and makes an effort to stay in touch every day. He checks in, keeps communication going, and in person he comes across as decent and grounded. That is a big part of why I said yes initially.
But I am struggling with something that I’m not sure I should ignore or not.
He is not emotionally expressive at all. Our conversations are mostly very surface-level — routine updates, what he did during the day, etc.
Even when I try to take conversations slightly deeper, he gives short, practical responses and doesn’t really build on them.
The part that is bothering me more is how he responds when I’m emotional. A couple of times I have told him I was upset or not feeling okay (even mentioned crying once), and instead of staying in that moment or responding to it, he either gives a very minimal response or just changes the topic entirely.
It feels like he doesn’t know how to sit with emotions or acknowledge them.
I have tried bringing up communication more directly too — I even wrote him a thoughtful message about wanting openness, reassurance, and being able to talk through things.
His response was basically "communication is important" and then he moved on. When I later told him I felt a little hurt that he didn’t really respond to what I had written, he again said something along the lines of "I have not thought so much about it" - and didn’t really engage with that feeling either.
He also said he is 'taking things as they come' and hasn’t really thought much about bigger topics like finances, future planning, kids, etc., even after I tried to bring those up.
At the same time, he is not a bad partner in other ways:
he is consistent and reliable
shows up, stays in touch, makes time
believes effort should be mutual
he seems stable and practical
So I feel stuck between:
'He’s a good, stable person and maybe this is just his personality'
vs
'Will I feel emotionally alone with him in the long run?'
For context, I’m someone who:
thinks a lot and processes through conversation
values emotional presence (not solutions, just being there)
needs a partner who can at least acknowledge and stay with me when I am upset
I am not expecting dramatic expressions or perfect responses, but I do need some level of emotional engagement.
I guess my question is:
Would you go ahead in a situation like this and hope things improve with time and communication?
Or is this kind of emotional gap something that usually doesn’t change much and can become a bigger issue later?
I don’t want to overthink and reject something stable, but I also don’t want to ignore something important and regret it later.