u/Basic-Shift-6208

​You used me to have a family and a child. When that family got to be too much, you left. You said you loved me when you never did. You proposed to me with no real intention of marrying me. You cheated, even when you knew that I hated that more than anything, and after you said you never would because you knew how much it hurt me before. You are a coward who used me to build a life you were never man enough to actually lead.

You claim I didn't love you, but we both know that is just your final act of projection. I loved you with an integrity you aren't capable of understanding. Your 'love' was never anything more than a transaction—a performance to get what you wanted. I want you to live the rest of your life knowing that someone actually loved you, and you were too small of a man to do anything but betray it.

​If I had a real choice, I’d never look at you again. But that’s not fair to our son. He deserves to know his father. It’s not his fault his father is a horrible person. It’s not his fault I chose unwisely. I love him more than I hate you.

​You chose to be a parasite on my integrity while offering none of your own. I am done being the only person with integrity. I am done being the anchor for someone who was just performing a role. I am moving into a life where honesty and accountability actually mean something. Understand, my decision to facilitate a relationship for our son is not a sign that I have any respect left for you. You are a lesson I have finally finished learning.

And do not ever mistake my silence for forgiveness. It is simply the sound of me finally being done with you.

It's stupid, but it bothers me so much he wont look at me. We share a 2 1/2 year old and still have to live together until end of May. He goes out of his way to avoid me and my 2 older boys. We were engaged, together 4 years he cheated, dropped me like trash, and said such horrible things including he 'shouldn't have to raise another mans kids' after we had this discussion several times in the beginning of dating. He was essentially their father for 4 years. He said he had all these problems and never spoke to me about them until he cheated, just built up resentment and left.

He's been avoiding looking at me, changed to tone he leaves not to see me at work, and won't visit or son mode this past month and a half. I shouldn't care. I know he's a coward. I know its avoidant. But I don't know why it bothers me so much. We live in a next gen house currently and yesterday he sent his mom to get our son instead of doing it himself. He treated me like trash and I still want some confirmation that he actually cares about what he did to me, not avoidance. I wish I didn't care anymore and I don't know how to get to that point.