u/Barnacle_Double

Genuinely, my husband is an amazing guy. My best friend, he says all the time that he wants me to be happy and healthy. I’ve struggled through the past year - it’s been 1 year since I had to return to my corporate in office job - daughter in daycare. I subscribe to attachment parenting style, it nearly broke me leaving my daughter in daycare (even though I knew she would be ok) I desperately wanted/want to stay home with her. Like a deep calling. We couldn’t financially swing it.

Fast forward, I’m now expecting baby 2 next month. Going to take my 6 month mat leave, and then am very seriously considering taking a career break to be home with both kids for a little while.

My husband respects me, he loves me, he gets me. But Ive always been a high achieving career woman. He probably doesn’t recognize me anymore, hell… I hardly recognize me anymore. Motherhood has changed me so much it scares me sometimes. Me quitting would be a big financial change for us (doable since our rent is up and we could move to a less expensive place but less comfy for sure) and it does put the pressure on him to provide for the first time really in our marriage. I want him to respect the work of me being a mom and not see this as a selfish decision to step away from contributing financially. Curious for those of you who stepped away from big careers how you navigated these convos with your partner? How did you explain this decision?

I am also scared because we have previously outsourced food, cleaning etc so it would be a learning curve for me to take on those things and manage a budget with two small kids. Sounds super freaking hard but I do think it would be a good thing for me and our family. Part of it does really excite me to think about taking that on.

I'm about to have 2 under 2. I work full time (in office) corporate beauty marketing role that I generally.... like... with a team (that is comprised of all women who are moms with older kids). I love the people I work with but the work is insane - weird hours, intense, my role changed so besides the glamor of working in a cool industry, it's not super fun. I joined this sub because I'm highly considering trying to stay home once i have my son in June.

I have some fears though and looking for advice. I'm worried that I'm cut out for SAHM life. I have mad respect for moms who do this. It's a massive sacrifice of self and overstimulating and probably lonely sometimes. Also shouldering all of the responsibility of your Childs development - potty training, eating, sleeping etc - it requires so much patience. However, I miss my daughter TERRIBLY when I'm at work and know that i will not be ready to send my son to daycare when he is so little & i am still nursing him. I would love a hybrid option - part time work or something but that doesn't really exist in my field at a salary that would make sense. It would also be a massive financial sacrifice for our family and lifestyle.

I'm wondering for women here who made this jump, would you do it again hindsight 20/20? How did you make this decision? How did you know it was right?