Just got my T taken away. Again.
The first time I tried to medically transition was about 4.5 years ago when I was 29. At the time, I lived with who I thought was my best friend AND brother in law - we had been friends half our lives at that point. He helped me crack my egg and supported me through getting on HRT and everything. Some months later, he harmed me in an irrevocable way that is too triggering for myself and potential readers to rehash here, but TLDR; it ended in my husband and I being forced into homelessness. It took us two years to get our shit together. When I finally felt ready, I went back on T. That was 14 weeks ago.
My state medicaid has never covered GAC of any kind, so I've been self-paying for all of it. It's been hard because, like everybody else, money is real tight right now. We've sacrificed almost every single optional spending we were doing so I could have this. I was supposed to have my first check up tomorrow and get my next three vials soon after. I've already paid for the appointment (unclear if I can get refund or not) and have the money we've saved up for my bloodwork and meds set aside. Well, I just got an email from my care team that says my state has changed the law so that Medicaid recipients are no longer allowed to self-pay for controlled substances. In other words, even though not a single state or federal dollar has contributed to my transition, I can't have it anymore.
Now, I was already being kicked off medicaid anyway, because my husband and I now make literally like $50 over the income limit. I only have coverage through the end of this month. That was heartbreaking enough because both of us have a prescription or two that we need to stay healthy, which we will now have to pay for out of pocket. No more regular checkups or dental cleanings or new eyeglasses, really any of the small stuff human bodies need to thrive.
I have no idea what this will mean for me. Presumably, once my medicaid coverage has run out, I can go right back to Planned Parenthood and continue with my T prescriptions? At least until this state manages to outlaw that... I don't know. I'm exhausted. It's finals season and I have not had a single day off in nearly six weeks. I've now had my transition taken from me twice. Doesn't matter how hard I work for this, how hard my husband works to make sure I can have it... something, somebody, always finds a way to rip it out of my hands. It feels like the universe is telling me to just give up. I feel utterly defeated.
