I’m stuck in a loop and I don’t know how to get out. For the third time now, I’ve been laid off after only a year or two at a job. Every single time this happens, it takes a full year of soul crushing searching to find something else. I’m back at zero again, and the tank is empty.
I’ve sent out hundreds of applications. Not a single word back. My resume has been looked at by career and unemployment counselors who tell me it’s "good," yet here I am. It feels like AI has turned the job market into a black hole where effort goes to die. It’s the silence that kills me. I spend hours tailoring an application, hitting "submit," and then nothing. If I'm lucky I get an automated rejection. It’s hard not to feel like the world has moved on without me.
My professional failure has bled into everything else. I don't leave my bed or the couch anymore. I’ve stopped caring about my hygiene, and the lack of care has become a physical weight. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I don't even recognize the person looking back. I feel fat, ugly, and completely worthless. The things I used to love mean nothing now. I’m just a shell filled with stress, numbness, and daily panic attacks.
I’m terrified I’m going to lose everything I’ve spent my life working for. The only thing currently keeping my head above water is my fiancé, but that brings its own kind of pain. I feel like a burden, dragging him down into the mud with me. He deserve a partner who can actually function, and instead, he has... this.
I have no hope left for myself. How do you keep applying when you already feel nothing inside?
TL;DR: Third layoff in a row, a year of unemployment ahead of me (again), and I’ve completely let myself go. Stuck in bed, numb, and feeling like a burden to my fiancé. Just need to know I’m not the only one drowning in this void.