I don't deserve morhers day (my opinion)
Tl;rd version: work screwed up AGAIN (so I had to work over and was unpaid for part of it), my kid didn't want to spend time with me, and I feel like I'm failing my mom (caregiving).
So I work home health. You know, the field with ALL of the fraud going on in other states so insurance is getting stricter than they already were. So clock out/clock ins have to be right on time (those happen 2-3 times per person per day and I specifically work two people per day). My memory is significantly declining at the ripe old age of 28 due to a congenital brain disorder. Anyway. Sunday is supposed to be 7:30 to whenever missy may's hours run out (varies). For the last 8 weeks, the office has messed up and scheduled me for 8:30. So I have been working that one hour off the clock and making note to talk to the office when they open. They FIXED IT this past weekend so when I clocked in at 8:30, to the company and insurance I showed up an hour late, so on mother's Day I had to work over.
Then my kid on Thursday asked me what we were doing that weekend. I said "well, it's mother's day. We're supposed to do what mommy wants." This boy came back with "well, that sucks. I wanted to spend the weekend at my grandparents'." We live spitting distance from the grandparents he meant. He's over there every weekend.
My mom broke her foot on her second fall in under a month. She ran out of BP medication 3 weeks early and I only caught it because she broke her foot and couldn't pick up her own medication. Found out she is why dad is running out early on the same medication. I can't bring myself to force her to let me take over her meds/med management. I've tried talking nice. I've tried telling her she can't steal Dad's meds. I've tried politely explaining. I bought a lock box for them. But I can't find the gump to just set them up for her and lock up her pills (and Dad's). I can't do it. I know it'll be a fight. And it'll be a knockout fight. And I don't have it in me.
Dad's irritated I'm not caring for him as much as I used to. I just don't have time.
I just don't deserve a good mother's day because I'm failing my mom and obviously I've failed my kid if he wanted to spend the day with Grandma and grandpa. I've failed my clients because I can't remember to talk to my office.
Sidenote to explain my situation: my son's dad stepped out when we got divorced. I've been taking care of my parents since my dad's cancer diagnosis in 2021. My mom has started to show signs of significant mental decline (I say dementia, her PCP says she's fine but her PCP is a joke and everyone but mom knows it) I have a fiance that's super supportive but won't help with my parents because they are my parents and they're not kind and often contradict themselves. We have a farm we're trying to revive. But nothing has been maintained since 2021. My fiance can't get a job right now (and that's fine because it gives him more time to work the farm), so I'm working my normal job and gig work. I'm spread too thin and forever stressed and I am in therapy, but I missed my last appointment and the next one isn't until next month.