Hi there! I posted some writing here a few days ago and got some excellent feedback, and I have now revised the text. Thank you to everyone who commented – it was all really helpful. Hopefully this is a bit more 'hook-y', has a better pace, and isn't too vague/purple.
Here is my previous version
https://www.reddit.com/r/writers/comments/1t238ff/comment/ojrnk22/
Hi there! I posted some writing here two days ago and got some excellent feedback, and I have now revised the text. Thank you to everyone who commented – it was all really helpful. Hopefully this is a bit more 'hook-y', has a better pace, and isn't too vague/purple.
Here is my previous version: https://www.reddit.com/r/writingfeedback/comments/1t234s7/feedback_request/
Hi all 😄 I was hoping to get some feedback on my opening pages. I’m starting to query soon and want to make them as strong as possible.
I’d love to know your thoughts. Does it intrigue you enough to keep reading? Any feedback at all would be hugely appreciated! x
(Sorry, I posted this earlier, but I couldn't get the images into a 'wheel', and they were displaying differently. Hope it's okay to have deleted that to repost!)
Hi all 😄 I was hoping to get some feedback on my opening pages. I’m starting to query soon and want to make them as strong as possible.
I’d love to know your thoughts. Does it intrigue you enough to keep reading? Any feedback at all would be hugely appreciated! x