Scared of getting a full time j*b as someone with ADHD
For context I used to work as a full time admin job at 18 instead of going to college because I wanted money, I hated every second of it and could only last 6 months there. I think my ADHD made everything worse during that period, mainly due to the social situations I was exposing myself to. I was super anxious everyday, developed insomnia because of it and the the social element of this jobs made me feel very nauseous everymorning before I clocked into my shift. I was so miserable and suicidal but I thought it was normal because I thought this is what adults do, so I should be able to as well. yk?
After quitting I my college application was approved so I went pursue my studies, now that I'm nearing the end of my course I am terrified I will find myself in the same situation I when I was 18. The area of study is not that employable either (visual arts, yay) so i know will have to find a desk job for soome stability. I genuinely don't know what to do, my mother is not adhd and doesn't understand why I struggled with the full time element. Neither do my friends, they are all very academic folks and have thrived in office environements. I'm sorry I just dont't know who to talk to about this, or if I am being dramatic and I should pull myself up by the bootstraps. Pls, any advice would be appreciated. I'm spiralling.